Saturday, February 23, 2013

No. 2 (Perhaps)

I just got my hair cut.  I used to have long hair (which I imagine that men like) but as I wore it up, and in a bun no less, at least a good 90% of the time, I figured it doesn't really count.  So being the easily bored type (which, by the way, I *am* totally the easily bored type - but this Absolutely, Positively Does Not Count because I swear I've had the same hair cut more-or-less for 10 years), I decided that I wanted to change it up.  So I changed the color slightly: from RED with a bit of blonde streaks to RED with a bit of copper streaks.  And I had her cut it.  And I wanted it to be Very noticeable.
It's not.  I look exactly the same but with shorter hair.  And that's always the way.

I have the same face and take the same picture as when I was a baby.  Now here's the unfair thing: Jsa, my nephew, looked exactly like me when he was a baby.  He looks totally different now and such a cutie!  For real, y'all.  He is a very attractive young man.  He got to "grow" into his looks.  I got to keep mine.  Hmph.

Oh, so getting back to the "why I probably don't have a boyfriend reason number 2" thing.  I need to style my hair now as I don't have the option of putting it up.  Also.  I need to wear makeup.  I decided I was going to start making an effort on my appearance more and yeah, that's gone to shitake mushrooms.  Also.  I need to shave my legs, get my nails done, get a pedi, lose some weight, exercise, walk my dogs, learn to speak Spanish, study more, clean my house, clean out my refrigerator, mop, dust, do laundry - WAIT!  I'm exhausted. What was the point again?
Take pride in my appearance. 

I lost my mascara.  I have like three of them.  I keep one in my purse and I can't find it.  In fact, I hate my purse. In fact, that's not the point at all.  But how am I expected to put on mascara when I can't find the stuff to put on!?
And shave my legs?  Do you people realize that I live in a teeny, tiny trailer the size of large SUV and the shower is like half the size of a port-o-potie?
And again, I am quite LARGE.  Oh!  And to top that off, the hot water heater storage tank holds about four minutes of hot water.  So I can wash my front side or my backside, but not both. 
I exaggerate. Slightly. But not about how much hot water I get, I really don't get much and four minutes is about right.

I need to take pride in my appearance, which I kind of do because I am ALWAYS (wait, where is the Bold and underline and italics for that?) trying and buying clothes in an attempt to look Less fat. 
And, if I do say so myself, I do have a great sense of style, quite unique to me, and still hip, if a bit funky.
I just can't be bothered with makeup and hair styling all the time.  I think I look pretty good without it.  But as one person put it, it's the icing on the cake - would I give a birthday cake to a friend that I hadn't put frosting on?  Well . . . eh.  Ok, ok.  I wouldn't. I guess.

But, it just seems like a lot of work to do everyday for a guy.  At least the guys I know anyway.

Wait!  I think I'm inspiring myself to go out shopping!  For mascara!  For new razors! For things I can't afford!  A new purse! A new movie to watch as I sit here alone on a Saturday night without a boyfriend!

Target, here I come!!!!

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