Am I wrong in wanting men to step up?
No, probably not.
But am I willing to do the same?
That takes a moment to pause. And then an, "Umm."
So, what is it I want? A genuine man, who understands me, who loves me, has a sense of humor, who is smarter than me (but isn't an ass about it), who will put me first and be ever-loyal.
So. Can I be the kind of partner a man like that would want? Eh.
I don't know. Is that man looking for a great rack and a tiny waist? Because, if so, then no.
Ok, let me add a man who finds me attractive. Not just attractive, but hot. A man who wants to have sex with my mind and my body. Ew. That sounds dirty - but really, I want all of me to be loved. And cherished.
So, I meet this great guy, would I make a decent partner to him? Would I be shortchanging him or would I bring my share to the table? That's really the question, right?
1) Be genuine. Real, honest, natural.
I hide behind games a lot when men actually show interest in me. Stop that! If a man shows interest in me, feel myself worthy of that interest and explore. Either I find him interesting or not. But it takes courage to step up to someone and show her who you are. I will, from now on, respect that and be just as brave and show who I really am. (Ouch. That's gonna hurt.)
2) Be understanding.
Ok. This is gonna go a couple of ways. I need to be more clear because no one can read my mind (I don't even want to go in there). Meaning, I need to be more in touch with myself so that I can give a clear "yes" or "no." And. I need to remember and demonstrate that I know that we are all human and I understand that. We all make mistakes, we all communicate differently and we all deserve respect.
3) Have a sense of humor.
Laugh at myself. Laugh with him (not at him). Don't be so sensitive and just let joy flow. Don't be overly critical and just giggle more.
4) Be humble (not competitive) about my brain power.
Let some of my baggage go. I had a boyfriend who was smarter than me and was really mean about it. If I couldn't express my opinion or thoughts well, I would be ridiculed. Yes, he was abusive. Yes, I put up with it - until I didn't. But yes, it is in the past. Let it go. I am smart. I know this. I also know that it is a HUGE turn on for me when a guy has a Big brain. I can be with someone who is smarter and that doesn't take anything away from me.
5) Put him first.
If he's great, let him know. Go ahead and re-arrange life to include him. Friends will understand. I don't have to let friends go. Making room for someone doesn't mean giving up something, it simply means making room. Clear out some of the clutter and let him in.
6) Love. Loyalty.
I love with all my heart. I'm loyal to a fault. These can probably fall into place - if I could just get to them.
If I haven't done these things in the past (I haven't), maybe I have no one to blame but myself for being alone. Maybe taking personal responsibility is the answer.
-----AND YET as I type this, I laugh.
Ok. I will henceforth take personal responsibility for my own love life and be on the lookout for mister right and mister good-enough. I can be the kind of partner I am looking for. Um, was that correct? No. I will be the type of partner for which I am looking. (See Ma, correct syntax.) I will live life as if there is enough love even for me.
Please don't send me dick pics. I don't appreciate them. (That's me being numbers 1, 2 and 4.) If you decided, however, to send me dick pics, I will laugh and show them to others. (That's me being numbers 2 and 3.)
You're welcome, world!